How we do it: the results of the UBC sex and relationships survey | The Ubyssey, UBC’s official student newspaper
Originally posted on Investik8:
Wearing just their underwear, the girls line up with their backs to the wall, arms by their side, heads down, frozen to the spot. They dare not move.
Their captors walk up and down the line – picking them seemingly at random and tapping them on the shoulder – ‘You, you, you and you… come with me’.
Have you ever seen a movie or TV show where a couple is in their hotel room trying to get sleep when all of the sudden sounds of passionate lovemaking come from behind the wall? This then turns on the previously-tired couple and they say something like, “I think we can do better than that!” or “Let’s give them a run for their money” or something equally cheesy.
We’ve all seen it – and possibly experienced it – and that’s because for many people, there’s just something about hearing, fantasizing or watching strangers in the throes of passion that gets our engines revved up. And the easiest and safest way to satisfy that desire within the confines of a monogamous relationship is with adult videos.
Conventional wisdom tells us that watching this kind of material can ruin relationships, but given the right circumstances, watching adult movies with your lover can actually increase passion, arousal and improve your sex life in general.
So if you’ve ever been interested in watching erotica with your lover, here are a few tips in setting the right environment and having a positive and passionate experience:
Know the levels of erotica. Adult content really does come in all different levels of explicitness. Some only mimic the act of lovemaking while others leave nothing to the imagination. Both can be very scintillating; it’s finding what’s right for your level of comfort and your relationship that is key.
If you’re not sure you’ll enjoy watching adult movies with your partner but you’re curious, start with something light and mainstream, like a steamy R-rated movie. Watch “9 1/2 Weeks” or “The Notebook” and take note of your libido during the sex scenes while your partner is sitting and watching next to you. Try to determine what your lover’s reaction is to those scenes. Is his/her heart beating faster, breath shorter; is your partner shuffling around or twitching a bit? If you enjoy this experience and think your lover might too, discuss taking your viewing experience to the next level, like the “after dark” type of movies shown on premium channels.
Find something you both will like. This should not be about pleasing one person above another. This should be about exciting and stimulating both of you. Both of your turn ons, turn offs, desires, views, etc. should be considered and taken into account when deciding on what to watch. People have different interests, fantasies, turn ons, and there is adult content that caters to it all. So spend a little time discussing and finding something you and your playmate would like to watch.
Learn from the experience. Watching adult movies doesn’t just have to be about enticing your sexual senses. You may find that you actually learn something from it. Indulging in erotica may expose you to turn ons and fantasies you didn’t know you and/or your lover had.
Communicate. If you are interested in watching adult content with your significant other but are also concerned about the impact it might have on your relationship, talk about it. If you think you might get jealous, tell your partner to ask for more awareness of your needs for reassurance. The best partners are the ones that aim to please, and if you are open with your lover and able to communicate what you need – both physically and emotionally – your other half is going to be able to please you a whole heck of a lot better than if you just expected it.
Adult movies are just a sensual tool. Having concern about jealousy or the impact on your relationship is perfectly normal, but remember that the goal of watching erotica is to excite you and your significant other and build intimacy. Think of adult movies like you would a sex toy. A sex toy is purely a physical tool to get you more aroused and to have better sex. Adult videos are purely a visual tool to get you more aroused and to have better sex. Just as you are not going to leave your lover for a sex toy, your lover is not going to leave you for erotica. And just as you don’t expect your partner’s genitals to vibrate, your partner does not expect you to be able to get in the pretzel and have sex.
Bottom line: Have fun! I cannot stress enough that sex should be fun. If it’s not, stop doing what you’re doing and try something else. Watching adult movies with your lover can be a lot of fun. It doesn’t have to be a regular thing – just something to keep in your bag of tricks and spice things up at the right time.
© 2014 Passion Parties, Inc. Reproduction and distribution by Passion Consultants™ is permissible for informational purposes only.
From the Passion you share to the love you bear… or dare to bare… You are the heart of my business.
Wishing you and everyone you love a heartfelt Valentine’s Day.
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