Bringing Toys into
If you’ve ever painted your nails, highlighted your hair, or put a dab of makeup on your face, you know how much fun it can be to add a little something extra. And if you’ve ever pushed a button on an elevator rather than trudging up the stairs, or used a shopping cart to carry your purchases rather than staggering through the store with your arms full, you know there’s no harm in using some equipment to make certain activities a little easier.
Passion Parties understands that toys are a positive, playful way of spicing up your sex life and making things more satisfying for both of you. Toys aren’t a negative commentary on anybody, or on anybody’s abilities in
the bedroom. However, if you want to introduce toys into your bedroom repertoire, communication and sensitivity are extremely important. Here are some suggestions:
If your partner is excited about trying out a few toys, it’s all systems go! But if the two of you have never used toys before, consider one of the following approaches — either just before the sexual part of the evening or at a completely neutral time, so it doesn’t seem like a backhanded criticism of your sex life:
“Honey, I read about something recently, and I thought maybe it might be fun — are you willing to give it a try?”
“I went to this party and ended up buying this product . . . what do you think?”
“My girlfriend bought this and gave it to me — should we try it out?”
(That way, he doesn’t have to wonder if some lack in your sex life has sent you out shopping.)
Some partners love the idea of toys, but they’ll never make the suggestion, either because they think you’ll be offended or because it simply never oc- curred to them. Once you open that door, though, they may have all sorts of ideas you haven’t considered. Consider moving out of your comfort zone, just for one night. Who knows – you may decide it’s a night you want to repeat.
Try taking it one step at a time, starting with the toy or product your lover will feel most comfortable with and building from there. You could say, “I was thinking it might be fun to buy ourselves some ‘presents.’ Here’s one for you…I’ll show you the one I got for me later on…!”
Vibrators, edibles, and other sexual products are adult toys. That is, fun things you can share with your favorite playmate. And when you look at them as toys, you and your partner will feel more at ease and may come to enjoy incorporating them into your sex life.
©2009 Passion Parties, Inc. Reproduction and distribution by Passion ConsultantsTM is permissible for informational purposes only.