Tag Archives: grownupsexed

#RapeCulture

With the Stanford rape case all over the place in the last few days, it’s become more apparent just how fucked up our culture is. A white, well-to-do, cis-gender, heterosexual male athlete can brutally rape someone in a dark alley and have very few repercussions. That’s disgusting. And unfortunately, common. A very high number of rape victims don’t report the crime…for many reasons – shame, fear, not wanting to recount the attack and relive it, but perhaps most importantly, because much of society will side with the attacker rather than the victim. Oh, sure, some will feel badly for the victim, but look at what has happened with this case: he got a slap on the wrist from the judge and his father described it as “20 minutes of action.” Seriously? That’s the reaction for such a heinous crime? If he were black, this story would be very different. If she were black, we probably wouldn’t have heard the story at all. If the story had involved members of the LGBTQ+ community, we either wouldn’t have heard about it or it would fuel the fire of the right winged anti-gay political candidates who don’t want people to be able to pee in public restrooms. But the story doesn’t involve any of “those” people, and instead is a simple and revolting look at the magnitude of the rape culture we have around us. And running through us.

As women, we’re taught that being pretty stands above any other qualities. Men tell us to “smile, honey” as we walk down the street. And we do. Why? Because, “Look mother fucker, I’m running late for an appointment and need to find this address, so I don’t need your objectification clouding my focus,” just isn’t ladylike. And beyond that, we’re taught that making a man angry could threaten our safety. We’re taught that “boys will be boys,” that when they poke, punch, chase, kick, or throw things at us as children, it’s because they like us. And we’re all taught that’s okay. That’s what’s supposed to happen. So when we grow up, we’re supposed to take it as a compliment when they hurt us. So we smile, because being paid the compliment of, “See, you’re so much prettier now,” though demeaning as fuck, is much easier to deal with than the possible vengeful reaction that may come if we stand up for ourselves. And because of this, it’s somehow our fault if anything bad happens. Instead of teaching men and boys to control themselves, we’ve taught women and girls to tiptoe around and control ourselves in order to prevent any sort of outburst that could put us in danger. Because men and boys are dangerous.

This kind of societal outlook is not only damaging to us, but also to them! “Hello there, little boy. You’re a menace. You’re allowed to behave in complete asinine ways and injure anyone you’d like along the way. You are not allowed to show any kind of emotion, and in fact, we encourage you to suppress all emotion until it wells inside you as rage. Meaningful connections with other humans are definitely out of the question, as that would put you at risk for feeling and expressing emotion. Stick your dick in anything that moves, whether the recipient is into it or not. You have the power. Power is all that matters.” <– What an awful message!

I sincerely hope, for the Stanford rape victim’s sake and the sake of all of us, that the media and social attention this is getting doesn’t just last a few days and fizzle out like so many other fads. I hope we can wake up and make some meaningful change. We need good sex education and consent education in our schools. Abstinence only education, or a complete lack of information altogether has put us on this path of destruction. Let’s change that. Let’s start teaching children about their bodies and boundaries, about the fact that everyone has different boundaries and those must be respected, about the changes their bodies go through, and when it comes time for them to start asking questions about sex, let’s teach them with quality about safe practices. Let’s work together toward prevention and put an end to rape culture.

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Human Connection

So, I’ve decided to make an attempt at something interesting. I’d like to stop measuring my life in time and start measuring it in human connection. It’s an idea spawned by a combination of a training by Elizabeth Gilbert at the Pure Romance World Conference in Orlando and the death of Prince. (Yeah, seriously. The man didn’t age. He claimed it’s because he didn’t believe in time.)

Time is stress. We’re always rushing to meet deadlines and we put our goals into timelines. We feel as though we haven’t accomplished anything unless we’ve accomplished EVERYTHING by a certain time. We never have enough time, wishing there were more hours in the day. And it’s awful. It makes us unnecessarily busy. Not productive. Busy. We don’t lead full lives. We lead busy lives. So, that sucks. And I’m trying to be done with it. (With a rather hefty emphasis on trying.)

In what I do for a living (ya know, that whole in-home-parties-with-private-consultations-after-the-presentation thing), there’s a huge opportunity for human connection. Real connection. Meaningful connection. So I’m going to change up a little bit about what I do at my parties to foster that. I’m also going to change up some of what I do in my VIP Lounge on Facebook to foster it more within my business VIPs.

We all crave human connection, and yet we’re so busy and so fucking distracted by social media and the million tiny tasks we absolutely MUST do each and every day that we don’t get enough of it. Because what I do is inherently fun and offers an excuse to actually get together with friends (which so rarely happens in person anymore), I’m really excited for what this could mean not only for my life but for the lives of those at my parties – my hostesses, their friends and family members, and my VIPs. So, here’s to a few minor tweaks that could cause a ripple effect for major change! *cheers*


Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

Passion P

It is with a mixture of emotions that I announce a HUGE change to my business. Monday morning, I awoke to the news that David Bowie had passed away. (That’s not the news. lol) I grew up listening to him, with my first introduction being as Jareth, the Goblin King. I watched that movie REPEATEDLY as a kid… Who am I kidding? I still do. lol But that was how a very raw, emotionally charged day began. At 1pm that afternoon, I got word that my company had been sold…to our biggest competitor. I was shocked. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Literally. Nauseated. I felt betrayed. Lost. Angry. No, no. Not angry. Infuriated. Enraged. Fire probably shot out of my eyes. And I very seriously contemplated walking away from my career…for about three minutes.

Once I threw myself a pity party, in my car, in the parking lot of the post office where I was going to drop off my team newsletters, I remembered why I do what I do. I am unapologetically passionate (no pun intended) about empowering people to embrace the most intimate parts of themselves, and educating them on the ways and the whys of doing just that! (I still haven’t sent those newsletters. I need to add something to them now. Something like, “Oh, just go ahead and disregard that Vegas Convention stuff and go to World Conference in Orlando.”

I firmly believe that what we, as a field force, do is important. There is so little education surrounding healthy, safe sexuality in our culture that by the time we reach adulthood, we’re so confused about everything, we don’t even know where to begin. I’m continually amazed at the little amount women know about their own bodies. And if you don’t know your own body, how can you effectively communicate what works for your body to your partner? Oh! That’s right! You can’t! What I do has nothing to do with my supplier of products – my corporate partner. What I do has everything to do with gathering people together in a fun, safe, comfortable atmosphere to provide infotainment regarding a topic so few people can talk openly about. It’s about allowing people permission to explore themselves. It’s about bringing people closer together in their intimacy. Quite frankly, it’s about passion!

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not all sunshine and rainbows about this transition just yet, but I’ve embraced the idea that we’re all out doing the same thing, no matter whether the corporate offices are in Vegas or Cincinnati. Of course, I’ve had to swallow my pride and let go of some misconceptions. We all heard stories about “them” and “their parties,” from hostesses, clients, and other consultants. But the thing is, they’ve heard the same things about US! Not all of the Pure Romance field is thrilled about letting us in!

I’ve cried buckets of tears. BUCKETS! For a variety of reasons, both positive and negative. But I genuinely believe this will be a positive direction for our field, my team, and my personal business. Plus, the Pure Romance Cancun incentive trip overlaps with the Passion Parties Costa Rica incentive trip, and they’re giving us the prizes for contests that have yet to end! So it looks like I’ll be earning two trips at once! I’m okay with the idea of going to Cancun for a third time in a one-year period. 😉

Now…to change alllllllllll of my social media accounts. Yikes! My web address is still the same. I changed the forwarding today, so it now goes to my Pure Romance site. Please check it out and see what you think! I’m REALLY looking forward to getting some feedback on the products from my clients, because I have no idea what any of it is! I’m super excited to get my kit in a couple days, because it’ll be like Christmas morning! I’m a bit giddy, as if I were a new consultant again. It’s kinda fun!

I’m super grateful to be an Independent Consultant and that my company was purchased by another, rather than simply closing. Instead of being laid off from a company as an employee (which happened when I was in non-profit, after I had been a part-time Passion Consultant for a year, and what forced me to confront my fear and take my business full-time) or having to start over with another company from scratch, I’m walking in to a similar product line with my team in tact and a new leadership title. I’m apparently a Senior Director! (Very fancy, I know!)

I’ll try to update this more frequently (already something I had planned for 2016) to document the transition and share some of the killer sex ed info I’ve found as I’ve poked around on the Pure Romance corporate site. 🙂

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http://www.GrownUpSexEd.com


Sensual Zodiac: Scorpio Woman

Screen Shot 2015-02-24 at 3.01.15 PMAre you a Sensual Scorpio Woman? Here’s your Sensual Zodiac!  Scorpio Woman

 

All products mentioned are available at www.GrownUpSexEd.com. Enter code SCORPIO to save 20% all throughout the sign of Scorpio! (That’s 10/23-11/22.)


Sensual Zodiac: Libra Woman

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Are you a Libra lady? Or do you have a Libra lady in your life? Sensual secrets here: Libra Woman


Sensual Zodiac – Virgo Woman

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Click below to read your Virgo Sensual Zodiac!

Virgo Woman


Sensual Zodiac: Leo Man

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 6.38.49 PMIt’s been a LONG time since I’ve posted a Sensual Zodiac about the guys. With Virgo on the horizon, I thought I’d put one up for the Leo dudes before it’s too late!  Sensual Leo Man


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