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So often we hear “bigger is better,” but what happens when bigger is too big? Don’t laugh. This is a serious problem. Although you may not be coming in contact with overzealous penises often, the truth of the matter is, they are out there, and many women and men struggle with how to handle them.
It can be a really sensitive subject for both parties, but not taking certain precautions can result in pain, self-consciousness and even injury. That’s right, injury. If you and your partner are not careful and he penetrates you too deeply, injury can occur to the cervix at the end of the vaginal canal. So what should you do if his penis is too big for you? Read on for some expert tips.
Arouse: Foreplay is an absolute must when preparing to have sex with a well-endowed man. By getting aroused, your vagina secretes its own lubrication and swells. It’s preparing itself for intercourse. Give yourself the time you need to become fully aroused. You might even want to have an orgasm through foreplay before having sex. After an orgasm, your body will be far more relaxed and will be primed for deeper penetration.
Lubricate: Even if you spend time getting aroused and feel your natural lubrication, add more. The wetter, the better! Everything should feel nice and smooth as he enters you. If you feel any kind of stickiness or rubbing, add more lube. Try Slip N Slide silicone lubricant for a silky smooth lubrication that will not absorb or dry out, or RomantaTherapy Revelation water-based lubricant, which can be reactivated with just a few drops of water (or saliva, if you’re not near a sink). Both are great for long-lasting lubrication and let the focus be entirely on taking him in.
Experiment: There are tons of ways to experiment, and you and your partner can definitely have some fun trying out these techniques. First of all, the vagina is a stretchable canal – 8 and 10 pound babies come out of there, after all. It can expand up to four times its normal size during arousal. (Think of a tube sock. Not all that sexy of an image, I know, but you get the idea.) So, if you and/or your partner are frustrated that you cant take him all in, don’t get discouraged. If desired, most women can stretch their vaginas. It just takes some time, practice and…stretching.
You can practice and stretch alone and/or with your partner. If you’d like to practice with your partner, spend some time getting properly aroused and lubricated. Then, while lying on your back, allow him to slowly enter you until it’s no longer comfortable and/or desirable. Then have him inch in a bit more. Pause there and shift your hips from side to side. Do the same thing, but this time while lying on your back, lift your legs up and rest them on his chest. You can be penetrated quite deeply in this position, so make sure your partner takes it slow and stops when you tell him to. Once he’s inched in as far as you can handle, move your legs from side to side. Doing this, inching in a little deeper each time, will help you stretch out your vaginal canal and prepare for regular lovemaking.
If you’d prefer to practice alone, repeat the same steps as above just use a dildo with the approximate length and girth as your partner’s penis. Get to know your current comfort zone and then push it little by little, day by day.
You can also experiment with positions. According to Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! by Dr. Sadie Allison, if you and/or your partner like doggie-style, “flatten your arch till your hips are tucked down under (to keep him shallower.) Slowly adjust your arch till you find the depth that feels best, or rotate it up and down throughout your lovemaking.” Dr. Allison also recommends the Cover Girl position – he’s on the bottom, lying flat on his back, while you’re on the top, straddling him with your chest resting against his and your legs extended out, slightly bent and tightly wrapped around both of his – which allows you to control just how deep he can get inside you. Additionally, she recommends spooning positions. Your tush will provide a natural buffer for you, but will still feel nice on the part of his shaft that’s not inside.
Positions to avoid are those where your lower legs and feet are up at his shoulders or your knees are in his armpits. Also keep in mind that when you arch your back, your lower chest or spread your legs, he can push deeper into you. So, don’t do any of that until you’ve done some stretching.
Using toys is a great option as well. Dr. Allison recommends sliding a penis buffer to the base of the penis during lovemaking. Though designed as a masturbation sleeve, Gigi is excellent for this, because it can be cut to fit for length, and shortened as you can accommodate more of him. Not only will this provide more pleasure for him, as we’ll feel like he’s completely penetrating you, but it will keep him from entering you too deeply.
Communicate: Communication is key in any relationship, but when there is an issue that impacts both partners, the most effective way to solve that issue is by talking about it with your partner. What techniques are you interested in experimenting with? What techniques does he want to try?
When it comes to an issue where pain and injury can result, it’s especially important to communicate while experimenting. Talk about the pressure. Talk about speed. The goal is for both partners to enjoy themselves and be sexually fulfilled by one another, so being connected in both mind and body will only enhance the experience.
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